He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
