Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
