now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
