Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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