I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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