i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize