Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
