literally had 100 drinks last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
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I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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