Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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