i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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