It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
