i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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