I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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