It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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