i think my tv is drunk
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
