I'm lost and stupid without you.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
