shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the room spins SO much faster in panama
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
