...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
