He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Im part way to drunk.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
