I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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