dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
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I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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