her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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