Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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