dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
