What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
