You just made me feel so damn special
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
