Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
