His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You left your phone here
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