she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
