your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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