Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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