you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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