He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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