so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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