so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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