I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
