the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I came so hard my ears popped.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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