My friends, they love my intelligence
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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