trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
