nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
