I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
