Don't you send me to vm
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
