Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize