I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
