I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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