hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
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I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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