break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
