You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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