I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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