You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
