And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
