Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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