i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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