If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize