if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
