So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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