Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
